I was too broken November 3, 2022

 It's not that I didn't value you
I saw your worth, but couldn't find any value in me
It's not that I didn't listen to you
Your words reached me through filters of self-loathing
It's not that I wanted to lose you
I didn't know how to find myself to hold onto you
I wanted to be in love with you
It is that I was too broken to believe in love for me
It really was never, ever you
I was trying to reach you, through the maze of being me
It is not that I don't miss you
I know that I was the constant lie in our relationship
It's that we never knew each other
Because, not once in that past life was I ever really me. 
I was too broken to put myself together, even for you
If I could have done so, I would have, all for you.